Every Time They Sleep!
Yes holding a baby while they sleep is a delicious thing- breathing in their smell, feeling their warmth, the rise and fall of their tummy as they breathe. Having to do this EVERY TIME they sleep is not very practical- how do you have a shower, do the washing, eat, cook? If you are holding your baby while they sleep, but are ready for change then this article is for you.
Here are a few suggestions for moving them to the cot or bassinet when they are asleep and for beginning to teach them to fall asleep in their cot or bassinet.
Wait until your baby is in a deep sleep before you try to transfer them. When babies fall asleep, they spend the first 20 minutes in a light sleep before going into a deep sleep phase. As you have probably experienced- trying to put them down during this light phase of sleep will often result in them waking! When your child falls asleep, wait 20 minutes before you put them down. You can tell they are in a deep sleep when their eyes are still, they feel heavy in your arms, their limbs are floppy and their fists unclench. When you spot some of these signs then you are safe to move them!
If you are looking for a longer term solution and want to start teaching your baby to fall asleep in their cot or bassinet here are 2 suggestions:
Option 1. Begin to settle your baby in your arms until they are drowsy. Place them into their cot when they are almost asleep. Keep your arms around them so they still have the sensation of being held. Once in the cot you can pat them, stroke their face, sing to them or do whatever helps to soothe them until they fall asleep. Over time place them into the cot less and less drowsy until most of the settling is done in the cot. Then over time do less and less soothing in the cot, just soothe until drowsy then keep reducing what you do.
Option 2. Introduce a new sleep association* alongside holding your baby to sleep. For example, as you settle your baby to sleep in your arms add in something new like singing a song over and over to them. Experiment to see what they like. For a few days sing and hold your baby until they fall asleep. Then settle them in your arms while singing until they are getting drowsy. Place them in the cot before they are fully asleep and continue singing. Keep singing as they fall asleep. In a few days settle them in your arms while singing just until they are calm, place them in their cot and continue singing until they fall asleep. Over time the singing will replace the need to be held to sleep. You can then reduce the time spent singing to just until your baby is calm.
*Being held to sleep is a what is known as a “sleep association”- something your child associates so strongly with falling asleep, that they cannot fall asleep without it. They key to change is to replace it with new sleep associations, preferably ones that don’t involve you!
🌟 Some insider information that I always share with clients I work with:
When it is not sleep time spend time with your little one in their bedroom or place where they sleep. Play with them, laugh, cuddle, have fun, and create a positive feeling in this room. Doing this regularly will create a sleep space that evokes positive feelings, it will feel like a safe space for them. This will make falling asleep so much easier for them and for you!